The past

So lately Zack and I have been talking about my past, he thinks it is because he is away from me and that when we are back together everything will be alright again.

I was really really horrible to Zack when he first met me. I have my personal reasons and he knows what was going through my head during that time. I was into the drugs, drinking, popping pills, and sleeping around with anyone but Zack. Zack wasn't anything like the guys I would party with or sleep with, he was quiet, sweet, caring, and everything you want your guy to be if your smart. I saw that I was hurting him, but the thing was I didn't care. I wanted my life to go to hell during that time, I did not want to be here at all anymore.

I am always willing to talk to Zack about it, well the stuff I remember because I block a lot of it out, and I know that he needs any answers I can give him. He put up with a lot and tonight after we were done talking I asked him how he could love me and want to be with me after everything I put him through and he said it is because I work it out with him when he needs it.

I know I didn't show it at the beginning and a lot of people probably hate me because of it, but I have loved this boy since I met him. He is growing up majorly now and I am very proud to be a part of his life and to be beginning a family with him. I can't wait till he feels the baby move or for the baby to born and see the look in his eyes when he first holds his child. He is the best guy in the world and I am glad that he choose me out of everyone else he could have choose.